Tag Archives: children

On Loss…and Feeling Thankful

I apologize. I’ve been avoiding you.

Or, sort of, anyway.

I just didn’t have the words this week. I had a few, enough for a tweet here or there, but not enough to put together a coherent post. I had to get them sorted out for myself first, and I think I’ve finally had enough time to do that.

You see, this was a week of loss for us. On Wednesday, we were told to say goodbye to what would have been the newest little member of our family. The little one we didn’t even know yet, but had come to care so much about.

And so I revisit the reluctant sisterhood of mothers who have experienced pregnancy loss. Mothers who wonder “Why me?” and “Why this baby? This baby who is so badly wanted, so incredibly loved?” Mothers who get so invested so quickly, even though we all know the deal we sign when we get pregnant has fine print stating:

No Guarantees.

 

I join the timeless lineage of mothers who then remember that there is no real answer to the question “Why?” other than the knowledge that this is all part of the journey.

This baby simply wasn’t strong enough to come join us. I know that, and I’m OK. My heart is broken, and my spirit is trying to heal, but I know deep down inside that I am carried in the hearts of so many generations of women before me–women from every time and every place, joined by a common thread–and my experience will, undoubtedly, help me in guiding the important young women in my life through their losses someday.

It may sound a little odd to some, but for me, embracing my loss is really the only way through it.

So, this Thanksgiving, I am thankful. I’m thankful for the joy I felt when I found out we were expecting. I’m thankful I got to carry our little bean for 8 weeks, and I’m thankful for the support I received while adjusting to the news that the new future we were envisioning wasn’t meant to be…yet.

But most of all, I’m thankful that for one brief, fleeting moment, as my husband, my son and I peered at that little screen watching the flicker of a heartbeat, we were a family of 4.

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My Top 5 Fall and Winter Wellness Goals

Thanks to Walgreens for sponsoring my writing. Help Walgreens help others! Visit their Facebook page here to learn about their charitable partners and decide which cause Walgreens will donate to with a quick vote.

Fall and Winter Wellness Goals

I used to love fall. The colorful landscape, the aromas of cinnamon and spice, the cool, crisp air.


But this year, fall feels a little different to me. We moved into our new house with the loftiest of goals – to garden on our new land, be more self-sufficient and sustainable, and eat the healthiest food we can while instilling a love of the earth and appreciation for all things homegrown. But, we’ve had nothing but problems since we moved in, and my beloved spring seems so far away. With my long commute to work, the impending winter seems insurmountable and I’m finding that I really just want to bury my head in a box of doughnuts.

But, for fear of emerging in the long-awaited spring actually looking like a doughnut (which I’m kind of starting to feel like already…) I’ve decided that we need to get creative, refocused, reinspired–and my husband is totally on board. We need to rededicate ourselves to a life of good health, and this is how we’re going to do it:

1. Focus more on a plant-based diet. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it a million times over: veggie, veggie, veggie! It’s just easy to fall off the wagon after missing this year’s garden, living in limbo for months waiting to move, and then going another month without a fridge. :mad:  I’m sad that we weren’t able to can this year’s crop, but until next year, we take advantage of what is fresh and abundant now! Pumpkins, kale, turnips, lots of bumpy, thick-skinned squash, beets, parsnips…all the good things fall and winter have to offer will remind me why the colder weather isn’t so bad after all. :) (And why I adore recipes like this one…)

2. Prioritize mealtime. As a full-time career mom, blogger, and overall “take-on-too-much-stuff” kind of personality, I’m always overwhelmed and busy. But, studies show that families that make the time to sit down to a family meal on a regular basis benefit in tons of ways, from better communication to better behavior and grades in school. I may not pull it off every day, but the goal is 4 times a week. Homecooked, at home. It’s good for the body, but even better for your family bond.

3. Speaking of family bond, we’ve got to keep our eye on the prize for next year. 2012 will be our year. The year of the big garden. The year of canning and preserving. The year of really getting our son out in the soil, digging and planting and understanding where his food comes from, what it looks like from the earth, and how it helps him grow big and strong. So we’ll spend the next few months planning and getting the whole family hyped up. Being creative and cultivating ideas will keep us motivated and sharp for when it’s time to spring into action early next year!

4. Sleep. There’s really no need to elaborate here – sleep is vital to good health, and far too many of us get far too little of it. I need to change that, and you probably do, too!

5. Move! This one is a toughy. Having no time to exercise sounds like an excuse, but sometimes it really is a valid reason. But even so, it’s a problem that needs to be fixed. So, it’s time to send these sedentary past few weeks packing and get back to business. That sleep thing I mentioned? It goes hand in hand with exercise–the more you move, the more energy you have!  Since I have a nearly-2-year-old, I plan to harness that unyielding energy for good instead of evil, and get him to move with me! Some days, that will mean running with the jog stroller. Others, it may simply mean a jump jivin’ silly dance party in the living room. But hey, what good is living out in the country if you can’t make a fool out of yourself with the window wide open? :lol:

So there you have it. My top 5 goals for how I’m going to focus on family wellness over the coming months. How will you keep wellness top of mind in your household? I’d love to know!

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