Tag Archives: attachment parenting

On My Mind: Weaning

Weaning.

I’ve been meaning to write a post about this particular topic for quite a while now. Months, even.

But I just haven’t been able to get it down on the page. Every time I try to write anything about what the early stages of weaning look like in our house, I get about 2 lines in and my mind starts to race. Trying to put my thoughts down in a linear perspective frazzles my brain, and I end up putting my laptop to sleep and zoning out on DVRed Top Chef.

Why the struggle? I’m not exactly sure, but I think it’s because I know that good information about weaning is important, and there are lots of mamas out there who need a seasoned perspective (hard to believe I’m a “been there, done that” mom now on some topics!) but it’s very difficult to put into a box. I’d love to write a post chock full of helpful tips and witty observations, all tied up with a bow and some kind of enlightening conclusion at the end. But for us, this process is so fluid and ever-changing that the best I can do is relay my experience and save the definitive answers for another time.

First, a little history:

My son was exclusively breastfed until 6 months, when we began to introduce solids. He is now closing in on 18 months, still nursing and eating lots of real, whole foods (mostly fruits, veggies, legumes, and grains; no cow’s milk (some yogurt), very little meat and very, very little sugar.) I work away from home about 50 hours a week, and he spends 4 days a week with my Mom and Dad, who have been very supportive since day 1. We are hoping to add to our family ASAP!

So, why wean?

This is where it gets complicated, because I can’t answer this question! Here’s the jumble in my head:

I would like to start initiating weaning because we really, really want another baby SOON and at 17 months I still had no return of my cycle (except for a random 2 days in December that didn’t amount to much) so I think I may be one of those moms who has to fully wean to concieve, but I know that my son is still reaping great health benefits from nursing past infancy, plus I work more than full-time, so nursing still provides a huge chance for us to reconnect each night. But it’s hard – I’ve been pumping for over a year now, and it’s draining, and I am ALWAYS hungry and unable to lose any weight, and frankly, toddler nursing is a whole different beast than infant nursing. He tugs, he pulls, occasionally bites, and never sits still. The mysterious “full night’s sleep” still eludes us, as he nurses on average twice a night, but I know that’s totally normal, so how can I complain? Frankly, I’m a little scared. I feel like I’m playing with fire by cutting out pumping sessions and letting my supply drop, trying to jumpstart my cycle, because I could wake up one day with no supply and a sad, feeling-rejected baby and I don’t want to know what that kind of guilt and regret feels like. BF has been his biggest source of nourishment and nurturing since the night he was born, so I could never just take it away unless he was ready. But IS he ready? He’s off the bottle, and down to about 6 ounces per day from a cup at my mom’s house, and he might get another 6 throughout the night, so would it be that big a deal if he didn’t get it anymore? On the other hand, it’s been such a comfort knowing that he’s getting such quality nourishment, tailored perfectly to his little self, while I get used to preparing table foods for a toddler. It’s like a backup plan for nutrition that doubles as a remedy for pinkeye, ear infections, diaper rash, and boo boos, while also providing a great way to calm an overstimulated or crying toddler. Who in their right mind would stop producing milk when it’s so multi-purpose and valuable? Oh yeah, maybe a haggard, exhausted mom who really wants another baby before the clock ticks any louder… I mean, extended health benefits are a gift, but a sibling is a gift, too, right? Ugh! Who says I even get to decide any of this anyway? Every time I give in and decide I’m not ready to push weaning yet, he says “Nononono!” and takes off in the other direction, no milk on his mind. It feels like any day could be the last day…

Do I even know how to be a mommy without it!?

See what I mean? I’m all over the place. But with all that being said, there are a few things I’ve figured out for sure:

  • While we didn’t use Baby Led Weaning in the proper sense (we gave our son purees), I do fully believe in letting baby take the lead in ending the nursing relationship. That’s not to say I can’t nudge a little, though, so we are currently practicing the “Don’t offer, don’t refuse” approach, and I’m limiting the length of each session whenever possible.
  • This is one emotional subject! Much of my purpose and identity as a mother is wrapped up in our breastfeeding relationship, and my heart just aches at the thought of its end. But, I’m realizing that parenting only gets deeper and more complex as the days pass, so I’m sure the bond we’ll develop in the next stage of our lives, whatever it may be, will be just as precious to me (and maybe a little easier on my sleep schedule.)
  • No matter how much longer we go, I have met several goals already: 6 mo, 1 yr, nearly 18 mo. It has been wonderful, but it has not been easy, and I get choked up every time I think of how proud I am of our accomplishment. Even if we stopped today, I sleep better at night knowing that I’ve provided my son (and myself) with an entire lifetime of better health!
  • I’ve been told right to my face that I am disgusting for nursing my toddler and that if we continue, I will damage him for life. To those people, I say: Make NO mistake about it, this decision couldn’t have less to do with you and your ignorant judgement. 
  • Every time I think I have something nailed down, it up and changes on me again. After a long conversation with my LLL leaders about this very topic several days ago, I woke up the very next morning to a happy monthly surprise! It seems that we are back in action, for real this time. So I may not have to entirely wean after all (even though my boy may have other ideas at this point.) I guess I’m right back where I started, confident that (as with most parenting issues I’ve found) I need to just follow my heart and my son’s lead and we can’t go wrong.

And with the developments over the last week, my hope to tandem nurse just might not be completely out of reach after all… :)

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Motherhood: It’s never boring, is it?

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Filed under Breastfeeding

My 100th post: Reflections and Goals

(Cue balloons and confetti… oh, and presents are OK, too!)

Hooray for my 100th post!! Woooo!

Well, we’ll just pretend this is my 100th post. It’s actually 102, but this has been a thoroughly crappy week so I blew right past it. Today, however, is a better day. :D

I started my blog in March, when my son was a few months old and I was getting back into the groove of things after my maternity leave. I was adjusting to new mommyhood, had just returned to work part-time, and was looking for a way to hold on to my interests, do a little writing and maybe meet some new like-minded friends. And, to be perfectly honest, I really just wanted to learn a little bit about how to use my computer.

I had no idea what I was in for! I can do things with my trusty Mac that I never thought I could (I’ve even had people ask ME for help!), and I’ve learned countless other things from the many blogs I’ve discovered. I’d go so far to say that blogging has affected the way I live down to the very core! Not only do I get to write about topics that interest me, but there are actual people out there –really inspirational, supportive, and amazingly talented people –who share my opinions, ideas and passions! Luckily, you all share your knowledge, too! What a gift to have found you all, especially since my life is not overflowing with people who share my views on most things.

(Plus, every so often, I even get a sample or two of something fun in the mail! Bonus!)

These days, my son is going on ten months old, reaching new milestones every day, and starting to enjoy the foodie action that goes on in my household. I’m considering going back to work full-time, for various reasons, which will alter my lifestyle to some extent. So, I thought it was about time to restate my mission here and clarify for everyone what you’ll be seeing in the coming months!

1. More Food!

Yes, food will still be here.

Old favorites…

and new!

Healthy, natural foods, gardening, and fun kitchen adventures are such big parts of my life that my blog wouldn’t be my blog without them. I’m lucky enough to have a husband that will try anything, and I’m hoping that love of exploration passes on to our son (I have a good feeling it already has…) I will be keeping my personal circumstances in mind when choosing foods, so here are some of the criteria that will guide my way…

  • We are still nursing, and hoping to add another little one to our family, so high nutrient value is very important. Low-fat and low-cal are not so important right now, but folate, calcium, protein and healthy fats sure are!
  • I am still hypertensive, so sodium is a concern. I do find that cutting out processed foods has made the biggest difference, however, so I do use a little salt in my cooking. No biggie.
  • I am still on hypothyroid medication, too. Not sure if diet or lifestyle can affect that, but I’d like to find out…
  • I’m not cutting out sugar, but I am cutting back on sugar. Being so tired and busy has caused me to turn to sugar a little more than I’d like, and given that diabetes does run in my family (and I had gestational diabetes) it’s something I’d like to conquer now. (Don’t think you won’t be seeing holiday cookies, though!)
  • Hydration, hydration, hydration! (More about this in tomorrow’s post! Don’t miss it!)
  • As always, I will continue to strive for a diet that is fresh and natural, with lots of whole foods and very little dairy. I’m thinking that gradually including my son into our family meals will provide even more incentive to stick to it…
  • Even within the restrictions of a busy schedule and tight budget, I will always choose local and organic foods when possible. That said, food also has to be interesting, fun and just plain good

2. Less Food!

That’s right. I know I just described my food mission, but I do have a life outside the kitchen and most of that part of my life revolves around this cute little one.

Just as with food, I strive for all things natural when it comes to raising my son. Most plastics are on their way out of our lives (I say that as I show you a picture of a plastic laundry basket :roll: I’m trying…), as are any other toxins we can get rid of. There are just SO many positive changes that can be made with just a little effort! The more I research and learn, there seems to be a better alternative for almost everything, from toys and diapers to household items and beauty products, and even the way we go about doing things, and I would like to share them as I find them.  

You’ll also see some posts about the struggles and triumphs of parenting. I believe in the concept of attachment parenting, which I look at as a very natural and intuitive way of raising children – a return to our instincts as mothers and parents. I breastfeed,  co-sleep (part-time) and engage in many other AP practices that keep my child close and connected. Attachment Parenting International lists the 8 principles of AP:

  • Prepare for Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting
  • Feed with Love and Respect
  • Respond with Sensitivity
  • Use Nurturing Touch
  • Ensure Safe Sleep, Physically and Emotionally
  • Provide Consistent and Loving Care
  • Practice Positive Discipline
  • Strive for Balance in Personal and Family Life

Nice, eh? But I also have a career that is important to me, and I’m not ready to abandon that at this point. So, while the two might seem in direct conflict with each other, I believe I can find a balance...the right balance, and I plan to share that journey here, too. After all, API describes the long-range vision of Attachment Parenting as raising children that will “become adults with a highly developed capacity for empathy and connection. It eliminates violence as a means for raising children, and ultimately helps to prevent violence in society as a whole.” So, it’s worth it, don’t you think?

Check out API for lots more great info on attachment parenting, and feel free to comment if you have any advice or tips for me! I’d love to hear from you! 

So, I’m excited to write my next 100 posts, and to read yours! If you have any friends that might share my interests, please tell them to drop by and introduce themselves. I’ll return the favor! 

I’ll do my best to stay current, but if I happen to drop off for a day or two, it just means I’m focusing my efforts on achieving that balance thing I mentioned earlier, and I’ll be back! Once in a while, a nap, tickle fight or impromptu picnic really can be the most important thing in the world. 

Happy blogging, everyone, and thanks for reading!

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Filed under Parenting & Family, The Everyday

Jam

No, not this kind of jam…

I’m talking about this kind of jam. 

Traffic. Ugh.

Today’s post was supposed to be a celebration of my 100th blog post, but I’m not in much of a partying mood. I left work at 4:30 today and drove into dead stop traffic. 

This is me at 5pm…

…and me at almost 7 pm.

Yes, it took me hours to get home. See…the lady next to me was reading a book.

In times like this, I usually try really, really hard to just relax and feel lucky that I am not the one actually in the accident. I try to think about those people, and how much they would probably like to switch places and just be stuck for a little while. I try to think about how happy I am that my son is at home, safe and happy.

But today was different. I was up 4 times with my little man last night due to teeth #9 and 10 (I think) trying to make their appearance, and I was up for the day at 4 am. When I left work at 4:30pm, all I wanted was that little boy in my arms. 

So I found myself sitting there,  thinking about all the things I had to get done at home, feeling really hungry and tired, needing to pump in a big way and having to pee, all while the creepy guy in the next car tried to get my attention. Um, ew!

When I realized I was on a bridge with about 30 big rigs, I got really freaked out. Those things are NOT supposed to hold all that weight, are they? Then, I looked down and saw this, and realized it was almost bedtime. That’s when I started to cry.

You see, I’ve not been dealing well lately with prioritizing, and I’m really struggling with career goals, family responsibilities and balancing my wants and needs with those of others. I believe wholeheartedly in the concept of attachment parenting (I view it almost like a primal need), and that doesn’t jive well with a Type A, ‘overachiever’ kind of personality and a full time corporate level job with a 65 mile commute, with freelance work on the side.

This is not how it was supposed to be. This is not how I EVER wanted it to be. But how do you complain about your job when your husband is in danger of losing his? Darned housing market… :mad:

I’m torn, to say the least, and I’m tired. It’s wearing on me.

I finally rolled in around 7:30 after stopping to quickly grab a quite questionable-looking rotisserie chicken (I had considered a run to Wendy’s, but decided that this day was NOT getting the best of me!) I crawled into the house, briefcase in one hand and sad chicken in the other, only to be greeted with a beaming little semi-toothy smile.

The chicken sat and waited while I read to my little love, nursed him, rocked him, and tucked him safely into bed. The minutes may have been few, but I squeezed in all I could. I would have breathed that boy in if I could have. Once he’d had his fill, Daddy and I had ours: finally, the chicken and some odds and ends (avocado, tomato, etc.) from the kitchen. Not a half bad sammy considering the circumstances.

I considered neglecting my post for the day, but then I remembered that blogging is for me. I deserve it, and I love it. Why do I love it? Because at the end of a bad day, you just might come home to find goodies at your doorstep…

Oh, and because you guys rock! That’s why!

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What’s your remedy for a bad day?

How do you find balance, or should I ask do you find balance?

Happier post next time. I promise.

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Filed under The Everyday