There’s just something about being “that mom” in the grocery store – you know, the plain one with the unwashed hair and no time to accessorize, trying to handle a yelping 1yo who wants to walk through the bulk candy aisle by herself and a 4yo who WILL. NOT. STOP. “mom, mom, momming” long enough to let her put two things in the cart that actually go together.
The mom who is trying to gather a few things to get through until Friday (hello, coffee creamer) and can’t think of a single good idea for daycare lunches tomorrow, so she just grabs sliced cheese and bananas and tries to hold onto hope that she will come through for herself with a good idea later (because she always seems to, somehow.)
The mom who is sorting through the sandwich rolls while holding the screeching baby trying to find just ONE with no high fructose corn syrup, so she thinks that if she were any good at all she would just make them (because it’s not like it’s HARD) and then remembers, “Oh c’mon now. You know you’re not going to get that done, and then you’re just going to have to go back out and buy them so just give it up and buy some damn rolls already.” And the baby is still yelping and throwing herself backwards so hard that it’s hurting to hold her, so the lesser of the evil rolls gets tossed into the cart, and the mom’s dream dies just a tiny bit more.
There’s just something about being that mom, with 3 different debit cards and not a clue how much money, if any, is on any of them. Being that mom, and crossing paths with an attractive-ish man who is walking in as she’s walking out, baby under one arm and trying to steer that godawful cart that looks like a car with the other, and knowing full well that he’s just not looking. At all.
Some days I feel pretty OK with where I am. After all, I only have what I’ve wished for and given myself. But some days, there’s just something about being “that” mom, in the very same store where I used to spend my days working in corporate level advertising, where peers and accessories were an everyday given and to-do lists got done.
I’m not sure what that something is, exactly, but there’s definitely something.