Wow. What a week. Mind if I cry on your shoulder for a minute?
We’re into the 14th week of this pregnancy now, and I was really hoping things would get a little easier in the 2nd trimester. It seems that may not be the case.
The week started out with a 24-hour urine catch (which required a huge jug that I had to store in my fridge!!) and my glucose test on Monday morning. The girls in the lab didn’t even know how to do the test, so my confidence level was not high. Plus, I had forgotten how completely awful that sludgy drink really was. Bleh!
I had another appointment on Thursday and the doc told me that all my numbers came back bad. My sugar is high, which points to gestational diabetes again. So now that I’m not feeling so sick and can finally eat, there’s nothing for me to eat. Or at least it feels that way. I can’t help but feel like a failure. I know GD can happen to anyone, but I just feel like if I had been in better shape or lost more weight before this pregnancy I might have been able to avoid it. But I know that once I get my head in the right place and put my game face on, I’ll be able to tackle the restricted diet just like I did last time. Only last time, I delivered in November. Just in time to enjoy the holidays. This time? I’m due in late February. This time’s going to be a challenge.
Which brings me to my blood pressure. It’s chronically high, but this doc thought it would be a good idea to switch my meds. So now, instead of 120 over 60, it’s running consistently around 140 over 90. So, off I go, to another appointment, to discuss treatment options.
Oh, and I’m hypothyroid, too. Did I mention that?
Ugh. What am I doing wrong!?
I hate to sound like a whiner, but there’s just so much going on, and so much to keep track of. Take your meds, don’t eat sugar, limit salt, get some sleep, keep stress under control, but continue working at a fast-paced job 65 miles from home, with a schedule that you have to constantly rearrange to accommodate multiple doctor appointments (they want me in every two weeks now.) And, my husband is starting night school. Who wouldn’t be a little overwhelmed?
But, and there IS a big “but” ( probably around month 8 ), I WILL be OK. You know how I know? Because I also had an appointment this week with a high-risk ultrasound specialist, and despite hearing the term “advanced maternal age” about 15 times, I got to spend about 30 minutes getting up close and personal with this new little one. I guess, after our losses, I had a little trouble believing any of this was even real. I spent every day prepared myself for the possibility of no baby, but I think this one has other plans. Everything measured just as it should, baby is growing well, and the heartbeat is nice and strong. I saw little feet, and a little profile with an even littler nose…it was just breathtaking. And when the tech said “Time to measure hands”, baby obliged by holding both hands high above its head for an amazingly clear shot at ten tiny fingers.
So, I’m back to apples and almond butter as my go-to snack of choice, and I will be odd-man-out in the office a lot once the holidays roll around and I can’t eat much, but that’s OK. Because after seeing that little face, and after feeling the beginning of flutters in my belly, it’s all worth it.
And for the ultimate prize of getting to be a mommy again, it’s a small price to pay.
Thanks for listening.